a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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