You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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