Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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