you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
