we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
