Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
