oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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