Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
