he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
