There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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