didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
