You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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