I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
