I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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