I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Randomize
