Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
