Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
