I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
