Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Randomize
