Duck Duck Cougar?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
