It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
