We won't sleep together?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
