Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
