I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
