you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
