I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
