all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
