I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
