The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
