how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
