I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
