ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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