JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
