he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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