He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Im part way to drunk.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
