tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
