Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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