I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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