I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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