So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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