I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
