I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
