Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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