Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize