Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
