I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
