I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
