Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
