our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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