Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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