It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She bit a glass in half.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
