What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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