my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
