He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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