What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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