yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
