oh god the rape fog is back!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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