if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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