I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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